This 2020, my goal is to be selfish.
You may think that’s an odd “goal” but I have to be and so do you! Being selfish means taking care of yourself first and believe me, that’s really against societies norm!
But I have noticed in myself and my clients, we give so much to others and not enough to ourselves. This offsets the receive and give balance within us.
I have found that if I do too many sessions and not enough for myself to do those sessions, I’m not of great service. Instead I become a PITA (pain in the ass!) to the people around me because I snap and get irritated easily. This is when I know I must break.
But let’s be honest, one spa day a month isn’t going to cut it. We need to love ourselves EVERY DAY. ALL DAY. This is where my selfishness comes in.
A new perspective or lens was given to me with the diagnosis of multiple sclerosis. Because there is no cure for MS only remission, it means I have to do everything for myself that I can do be put into remission. It means I have to put my needs first because if I have a relapse, my service won’t be good to anyone!
I worked my ass off in 2018. I pushed and pushed and pushed and I did so to meet imaginary goals that satisfied my ego. If I achieved “A” then I can breathe. But really, no matter what goals I accomplished for myself, I never felt satisfied and always created a new goal with even more pressure! When November hit, I decided I needed a break physically and mentally. Following that, I experienced my first multiple sclerosis relapse. Apparently, stress doesn’t go well with me – and it won’t you either. The MS gave me a new lens one which showed me how to nourish my soul instead of think I can control! Lessoned learned.
When you give too much to others you will find yourself feeling depleted, resentful and even hit the stress point. But there’s a HUGE SECRET.
SELF LOVE IS THE KEY. BE SELFISH.
I knew that I needed to change, so I hired myself an assistant (who is amazingly wonderful and has lifted a big weight off of me) and I started to carve a lot of time for myself.
I not only spoke my own truth, I walked my talk with my clients. I sat in nature. I wrote. I really dug in, so much that I found out that there was a word for what I’ve been doing all along – shamanism. I took the practice that people talk about all the time and went deeper within myself.
I reconnected with my INNER CHILD, I developed a POA (plan of action) for the multiple sclerosis, I found a group of people to support me in my own journey, I found a doctor that I was aligned with and I connected with my ancestors! All being completely SELFISH to LOVE MYSELF WHOLE AGAIN. And it’s working!
Self Love doesn’t stop with me, it’s a ripple effect.
As I really dug in deep to uncover the parts of me that didn’t love myself so much, something miraculous happened. People who would normally “bother” me didn’t anymore. I didn’t feel irritated when someone didn’t respond how I thought they should respond because my perspective was changing. And more so, people were respecting me on new levels because I created strong boundaries that they knew they just couldn’t cross. I went from a people pleasing attitude to a nurturing loving one.
This took time. As I was working on my boundaries and self-love, I found myself being snippy. When I found or noted that someone “crossed my line” my inner child would come out and cry and I responded in mouthiness. Oh did I feel bad for that little girl inside and all the people I was mouthy too!
I would sit on how someone was treating me, when in fact it was the perfect opportunity to love myself even more! When someone crossed my line, I reacted bitchy, matter-a-factly and immature. Because I never developed the response to handle such circumstances with confidence and ease, my little girl came out screaming. I realized I had to nourish her and help her develop techniques and skills to speak like a mature adult. It has been taking some time, but I’m 90% there!
HOW DID I START SELF LOVE
One of the things I did to nourish myself was a shamanic journey back to my inner child. I helped my girl out! Soul retrieval is amazing when you place the fragmented part back into the whole.
Another technique I did was visualize in my body the parts that didn’t feel so loved. I sent the color pink to any part that I was holding an emotion that felt less than. I place energy up and down my spine loving it and thanking it for all it does to support me.
The biggest thing I have done for myself is correct my mind-set. This is everything. I have known for a long time that the thoughts we think, the words we say manifest into the Universe. And believe me, not all things I say to myself was nice. I had to re-teach my brain how to be kind to myself and I had to realize that I wasn’t the only one in my head! Spirits are communicating with me all the time, so some of those thoughts aren’t mine!
One of my most profound moments…
was when I was a little girl laying in bed. I was mad at the world. How could people be so mean to each other. Then I became mad at God. How could he let these people be idiots? I was more than passionate about this question as I cried into the nothingness. My little empathetic heart was shattered upon the actions of the world. At the time I didn’t receive the answer.
In my adulthood, I had the opportunity to revisit this question. What I found surprised me. My spirit team told that if he was to erase the minds of humans, he would be erasing himself.
(I use the “he” to describe the oneness, but I know there’s not only a masculine energy but feminine as well. It’s the language used to describe.)
Think about how PROFOUND of an experience this is! There is God within each of us. It’s our soul, that little boy or girl inner child within us. We are god and God lives within us! When you LOVE yourself opportunities of love come to you as well. It’s the law of attraction!
BE SELFISH. TAKE TIME FOR YOU.
And I swear, we will all be a better place because you did and because of my selfishness, I found a deeper more profound love for not only myself but honoring the Universe too.
THIS IS THE REASON WHY I’M SO EXCITED ABOUT MY NEW MENTORSHIP!
If you are feeling called or connected with really finding out your truth, honoring yourself and diving in deep to the Unknown, I’m going to knock your socks off. Anyone can meditate, make an alter and be spiritual. THAT IS NOT WHAT THIS IS ABOUT. This journey is personal. It’s your journey!
It’s time to self love yourself silly. Let’s walk this path together!
Again, self love isn’t a foot massage or spa day once a month. It’s an everyday thing that needs to be experienced every day. Because self love is about our relationship with ourselves we are going to embrace all aspects to find our whole. Your truth. Your you!
Step into this amazing journey with me January 10th. Like yourself and even dare to LOVE YOU! Many blessings this 2020!
